Tristan pooped in the bath today. It was the very first time. I was hoping he’d make it to age 2 without pooping in the bath, but today was that day. It’s also really freaky when you see and smell poop, but you didn’t see it happen.. and you KNOW you may have looked away for three seconds.. And if he ate it, thankfully he was REALLY stealthy because I saw no evidence of such.

Also, we’re working on Nap Restructuring again. Tristan decided that he wasn’t taking a nap the day before yesterday. For a kid who normally takes a 3 hour nap, this is significantly odd. However, most of us are of the opinion that since he’s about 2 now, he can really use more sleep overnight and less sleep midday. Following his natural rhythm is not so easy anymore with his full schedule, so we have to artificially shape it a bit. We tried yesterday – I put him down an hour late for nap and we woke him up after 2.5 hours, meaning to put him down half an hour earlier, but we failed at the earlier part.

We are learning letters and numbers! Tristan enjoys activities that involve such lately. He will stop to study with me if I stop to point out letters on a sign or otherwise in the environment. He can identify A by pointing to it and saying it. Now he’s pointing to B and saying A, so we have to keep drilling him on it. But what’s really cute is that he distinctly can say A, H, and 8 but knows what they are at different levels. He knows A, but isn’t sure if other things are also A. He recognizes H but doesn’t know exactly what it is yet – he can say it, although not in association with the word “Hi” (he still says “aaaahhhh” or the like for “Hi”). Hopefully he recognizes 8 after today’s experience with the foamboard he was playing with at his school, but he doesn’t show that he recognizes certain numbers that often. I’m betting he does or at least gets the concept of quantity, especially since he understands “more.” But the most fun thing is that the kid is fascinated by the alphabet and he’s learning the song they sing in school – he’s added it to his humming repertoire and can chime in at the “a, a, a!” part.

Academics are a fun way to relate to a kid when the kid is interested. I’m so glad that he is now. He experiments with his environment and I want him to have the knowledge he needs to just do awesome things with it.

I’ve started thinking of Tristan as a 2-year-old rather than a 1-year-old. I figure it’s a lot closer, and he looks it anyway.

So, Tristan has been making leaps and bounds with his development. There’s been enough improvement in his communication and imitation skills that it’s been noticeable to people who last saw him about a month before. He’s learning how to ask for more complex things but is still easily amused – yesterday we were sending one of his stuffed bears down a slide, and it kept him entertained for a good half hour. He’s recognizing a lot of his letters by sight and sound. He’s a considerably better problem solver. It’s easy to set up for joint attention if I am labeling the environment, the alphabet, or anything in between since he’s making enough sense of language that he finds it interesting (and is therefore LEARNING IT!). He’s gone from very little ability or inclination to imitate something like clapping hands to full success in some activities. He tries very hard to vocalize the word “Go” and has a toy that says “GOAL!” that he likes to hear over and over.

We’ve been keeping the weekends fairly action-packed, as we no longer have things like regular park time in our schedule. Tristan enjoys swimming activities but he also tries very hard to drink the pool water, so we have had to be creative — tubes work best for keeping baby bodies but not heads in the water. We go to the water park about twice a month – the last time was not a good visit because Tristan was cranky, and a cranky Tristan doing stuff he usually wants to do but doesn’t that moment is never any fun. We had a weekend playdate over here just this past weekend and I hope we get to have some more.. it was a gently social but rather fun way to entertain ourselves and some kids.

Sleep has been irritating during the day and wonderful during the night. Tristan’s not napping very consistently — he may sleep from 1-4 hours now, depending on when he wakes up screaming. And he tends to wake up screaming even after having had a good, long nap. At this point, an inconsolable waking screaming fit after naptime is part of the day and not just something I hope won’t happen this day. And he also stalls as much as humanly possible to avoid going down for an earlier nap. So, the net effect is that I’ve had lots of time not stimulating him but get hit by the high emotions of the nap. But either way, he’s had a regular wake and sleep time for the longer portion of sleep and hasn’t woken up screaming (more than “a” scream, anyway) for a very long time, and he still wakes up cheerfully in the morning. I am sure that he probably needs a slightly earlier nap. There’s not a whole lot of earlier to go anymore, though.

Tristan has been in the Shining Stars program for about a month. He seems to be doing pretty well, and he’s bringing home knowledge rather often. They switched classrooms midmonth and Tristan doesn’t like the new classroom very well, but he’s managing. He’s no longer the “new kid” in his time slot — always the hallmark of getting used to things. I’ve been using Tristan’s preschool time to do crazy things like bike around and explore the area. Fun for both of us!

* Tristan is doing well in his center-based program, aka preschool. He’s finally getting comfortable with the idea of mommy disappearing for two hours at a time. Mommy has, in turn, had her hair cut and her back massaged this week as a result.

* Tristan’s finally showing interest and aptitude for pointing at pictures in books or at objects for them to be named. He is interested in “orange” (fruit) and “ball” mostly, and can answer by pointing to the objects when you ask him where an orange or ball is. It’s hard to get him to perform this, but he has done it! Anyway, he’s learning words. He tries to say the words, as well. He’s shown that he notices two oranges on the page are the same by pointing to both of them. I really hope this continues because it finally gives me some rote academic work to go over with him.

* Tristan’s also been interested in the alphabet. He’s been pointing to letters for them to be named. He’s managed to say L, D, and O so far.. probably more!

* I can point in a direction and say “Go this way” and for the most part, Tristan will comply. He tries to be contrary at times, but I’m ok with that. As long as he is capable and does it most of the time. He is not interested in walking while holding my hand unless he needs help with steps, but he is very good about following the pattern of where people walk (like staying on the damn sidewalk, not running into too many roads, etc.). We should practice this indoors at times and see if it’s as reliable..

Tristan started at the center-based Shining Stars program on Wednesday. He’s in a class with four other children with varying levels of ability. He’s the only one in the class under age 2, and I think each of the kids is of a different general ethnicity.

Now, Tristan is kind of quick to adapt after a good day of confusion about the routine. We’ll see if this happens tomorrow! I hear that kids do have a hard time at first. After all, we’re not really a family that spends time away from our child. I expect that he’s getting used to strangers who are women (one or two men, but even the doctors were mostly women) and he’s used to strangers who are children. The point of hemming and hawing here is that Tristan was extremely fussy and could be heard crying for a good portion of our observation. But he woke up at about 7:45am yesterday, and that’s nastily early even for him. He was also fussy through his therapy session at home, and he’s usually fairly cheerful for them unless he forgot to eat. I don’t remember any extreme fuss after his nap, so I suppose he caught up on his sleep.

The “curriculum” includes free play, a circle (kids in little chairs, “friend” attending to each child – 1:1 ratio, how’s that for preschool? ) with singing, snuggle, greeting, and introductions for each child), some stuff in between that we did not see because we went out to lunch! Alone together! For the first time ever without having to beg someone to fly out here to watch out kid or arrange emergency care! *catches breath* When we got there at 20 minutes until the end of the hour, the .. OT supervisor? came out and asked us to please go away (she was more tactful ) so that Tristan did not see us and think it was time to go. I suppose I should interject that the classroom observation is possible through one-way glass, so we were standing in the hallway watching and listening; the kids were outside in the play area when we arrived and there’s no sneaking past them. We killed a few minutes in the heat, trapped in a downtown parking lot (walking past the play area again; it’s in the front yard), and then sneaked inside the building when we heard no more little giggles from the play area. We got there in time to see.. more sitting in chairs and singing to de-greet each child! Tristan had two tambourines or similar in his hands; none of the other kids had any. Curious. Tristan was also having a bit of trouble remaining sitting in his chair, by which I mean he kept needing to be planted back into it.

It will be a busy day today followed by another class. I will very slowly keep updating.

I’m sitting out in the living room, and this is what I hear/see: (I am not sure the therapist wants her name up on this site, so I shall just call her Therapist. Her name begins with “T” so initials won’t much help.

Therapist: “More? More cars?”
*pause*
Tristan: “ga ga ga, ga ga ga, ga ga ga ga ga GA”
*ambient noise of maracas and shaking stuff*
*random noises that sound like clicking*
Therapist: “Why don’t you finish chewing?”
Therapist: “You found the square! Scribble?”
(I don’t see anything over the baby monitor)
Tristan: *hums first three notes of This Old Man over and over*
Therapist: “Are you looking for matching? Do you want to do matching?”
*clicking sounds*
*chatting about Tristan still eating*
Therapist: “Let’s stand up!”
Therapist: “Squish into your pillow”
Therapist: “Ready? Row, row, row your boat..” *continues singing*
Therapist: *claps and praises Tristan*
*Tristan tries to open the door*
Therapist: “Good clapping!”
…
Therapist: “London Bridge is falling down..” *continues singing*
Therapist: *claps and praises Tristan*
*Tristan appears on the monitor and starts turning on his naptime music*
*Therapist removes him to refocus*
*Tristan sits on a blue chair, plays with his house toy, and distinctly says “a-ha”
*Tristan plays with the music on house toy while Therapist gathers things*
*Therapist joins Tristan at the house toy and starts talking about what he is doing*
*Tristan continues playing and Therapist begins setting materials onto his table*
*Tristan gets up and walks off the camera view*
*Tristan cackles and says “da” or “that”*
*Therapist physically arranges Tristan in front of table to play with the spinner, which is what she set on the table a moment ago*
*Therapist demonstrates and Tristan fiddles with some of the parts*
*Tristan attends to the clicking sound of the spinner and watches the spinning motion while Therapist attempts to get him to do it himself*
*Suddenly they’re playing a matching game and Tristan is just moving the stuff around*
Therapist: “Ready? Match!”
Tristan: “gaaaaaa!”

* We got our schedule for June. It is considerably different but is comprised of just about as much time. I’m trying to get more time tacked onto the end of playgroup because we’ve consistently had to scurry out of there to beat the *insert various expletives* traffic lights on Tasman Drive. Noon is corporate hell lunch time, and we live smack in the middle of the high tech version of corporate hell. Anyway, the important thing about the June schedule (and the “what’s different”) is that Tristan will be attending the Shining Stars center three days per week. This is a preschool of sorts. I will certainly elaborate on it when I get to know it! Also, I think there’s a possibility of seeing a park or other families again outside of the playgroup…

* Sleep is back to normal..ish. It’s much improved and I am Learning Some Shit. We started him on probiotics to help keep his digestive system from giving him so much trouble if that is what it has been. (Remind me that we all need to start fish oil soon!) We’ve also been experimenting with Tristan’s naptime. He does like to go down by about 3:30pm whether he admits it or not, so that’s what I’ll aim for. I also learned between yesterday and today that there is a lot of environmental noise that wakes him up (like people revving motorcycles or honking at the drive-thru next door) that was easy for me to hear as well from the garage, and that he really doesn’t want me hanging around trying to soothe him to sleep because sometimes the crying is part of the process. I knew that about the crying from when he was very young, but somehow I get caught up between the stress of him crying and thinking he will benefit from being soothed.

* We went to Bounce-a-Rama today. Those bastards keep raising the prices. They also keep changing the policies about parental play with their kids, but they didn’t give me any trouble when I joined Tristan this time. I don’t think Tristan is yet ready to play with other children in a bouncer while he doesn’t have a ninja parent, family member, or friend available to either make sure he doesn’t get his back broken by being trampled upon, he doesn’t splatter the shit out of a smaller kid accidentally, or he doesn’t provoke an older kid into a fight with his shoving/touching behavior. Besides, we tend to do the attendants’ jobs of making sure the kids in the structure aren’t being little assholes to each other, so they tend to shut the hell up. Anyway, Tristan really loves the bouncy structure that they toss about 20 balls of different sizes into. This is an “all-ages” bouncer – not that it matters, because the older kids tend to storm the toddler section while toddlers are in it, so what’s the point of having a “safe” place where the babies can go without a clinging parent? Oi. Anyway, Tristan likes hanging out with the older kids and the 20 balls. He also likes the little toddler slide, and he takes turns with other children very nicely on it. However, he also likes to sort of walk off the edge of the slide and tumble down. All in all, both of us got some much needed exercise.

It’s been almost a month since Tristan’s started his ABA therapy assessment and whatnot with Stepping Stones in our home. He’s learning a LOT of neat stuff related to play skills and communication.

If for any reason, you have a kiddo and you suspect a delay in communication or the like, get your ass in touch with your local variant of Early Start for an assessment…!!!

The “more” sign – Tristan picked up on the hand sign for the word “more” the first time it was modeled, but he only used it with regard to “more tickle.” He’s getting a lot better and even spontaneous in his offerings of the sign. James spent a lot of time practicing with Tristan when there was a breakthrough moment involving pepperoni. Tristan LOVES pepperoni. He also has proven that he either just craves spicy food or somehow doesn’t notice it. More on that later. Anyway, the sign. I can’t remember offhand all of the situations he’s generalizing it to, but food is a big one and peekaboo is as well.

Play skills – Tristan can stack EIGHT (8) of those putzy little wooden blocks up. That’s at least “up to speed” in that department. Actually, he has an awesome sense of how to balance things when he wants to. Hmm.. he can now roll cars properly and is somewhat interested in them when paired with a ramp toy. He’s learned how to use a Magna-Doodle toy, and prefers to use the magnetic stamps instead of doodling with the pen. He is learning to sit at his new table for activities for several minutes at a time (the chairs are a hazard when he thinks to carry them as a stepstool!).

It’s been really neat that he has taken to the therapists as complete strangers that came in to play. I feel like this whole experience will somehow give him quite a competitive edge in life, because he will be NO stranger to cute girls completely devoting their attention to him. That will probably give him a social edge should he decide he isn’t interested in girls later on as well. I think both he and I are starting to form preferences, but nobody has worried me or made me think they’d be bad for Tristan. I have also been more civil to my family since I am receiving regular breaks from stimulating Tristan in some way.

In, he’s been fairly pleasant and doing neat and/or crazy things…

* This kid loves the spicy food – that wasn’t news in general… but we all know of these, right? (complete with an array of adult vices and fire safety devices)

Yes. THESE fucking things. Tristan devoured, with NO drink available, half a bag of them. And do you know what happens to a child who devours half a bag of those?

You come upon the child first thing in the morning the next day. You see a bit of.. red stuff.. on the sheet. Then, you smell poo and know that the first thing on the agenda will be a diaper change. You get the toddler onto the table reluctantly and notice that his PANTS are also slightly.. reddish. This looks nothing like blood – it looks distinctly like watered down red food coloring. Can you guess what the inside of the diaper looks like in such a scenario?

Yep. Bright red pudding poo everywhere is what happens when your child eats half a bag of those damn Cheetos.

The good news is that if this ever happens to you and you don’t know how your baby will deal with eating such a noxious food, know that it will probably be ok. Half a ton of capsaicin doesn’t seem to hurt either the insides or the skin in contact with the diaper for however long he went between pooping and being taken out of the crib.

* And the LAST thing I wanted to mention is that Tristan is learning how to do neat stuff with the help of red light cues. By “neat stuff,” I mean playing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on a musical keyboard with the help of a lit key tutorial. I also mean that he’s been playing his age 2+ alphabet musical toy and able to spell words such as “jewelry,” “museum,” “zoo,” and a few others with similar blinking red light cues. It’s really impressive to see, even when you know that Tristan’s just good at following cues.

It’s 4:22 and guess who’s not even close to asleep? Did you guess Tristan, or did you think I was going to gab about someone else’s kid?

Tristan’s nap time has officially moved from 3pm to 4pm. He’s also been taking his naps lately without unnecessary waking and screaming, although he’s getting really bratty about going DOWN for them (not a problem, just parental refresher course necessary for me!). Anyway, anyone who thinks they’re all ninjalike and smart because they figured out when to call here needs to reconsider, because we’re off by an hour and change suddenly.

I’ve been looking for a way to say this, but it’s kind of hard. It’s hard because it’s uncertain.

Please don’t panic. We’re not panicking. We’re just following the steps.

Don’t Google this shit, either. I want to impress upon you that Tristan is in great health and doing very well.

A chromosomal abnormality has been found in Tristan. There is a duplication. I do not have the numbers straight, so I will not divulge further lest we scare the shit out of people.

We’ve been told that this may not even relate to his autism.

I also want to impress upon you that chromosomal abnormalities exist in many people; testing for such is fairly recently widespread. Him having an abnormality doesn’t mean a whole lot yet.

We have a tiny bit more information but no more RELEVANT information. Just a little bit of description that has changed per person who has told us, so I don’t want to repeat it. Something about WHICH chromosomes and all. I’ll talk about it all when we have it in writing and not just talking to people on the phone.

Now, the relevance. If you’re a member of Tristan’s biological family, we’ll be interviewing you shortly about family health and reproductive stuff. If you’re familiar with me or James during childhood, please; we need your help. They will be studying us extensively to see if this comes from either of us.

No worrying. Just information, please. Send it to me or James privately if you want or post it here if it’s part of our social network.